I cannot believe it has already been (almost) 3 months since I began my new adventure on Weight Watchers. 85 days baby! I have lost 25 pounds since day one, and I feel SO good. Not just because of the weight I have lost, but with how much I am changing. Since day one of WW, there were things about the program I loved and things I found to be a little challenging. I also was aware of some things personally that I knew I had to watch out for.
Now that I pretty much have the program down(I am on the blue plan), and I have been on it for a while, I wanted to share my thoughts, feelings, and how it is going
Let’s start with the positives
Yes, even though I am focusing on more than just losing weight, I do want to talk about the weight loss part of it, since weight loss is a part of my journey. I think in terms of weight loss, this program works. You are free to eat what you want, there is no such thing as “good food” or “bad food” and I find that I am eating more than I ever was before- and still losing weight. I also feel like I am losing weight at a healthy rate and speed. I think it is so important to focus on your own progress and not just join or consider joining WW because others have had success or because of how someone else is doing, or because you want to lose weight at the same rate as someone else. WW is still a diet program, and I think when it comes down to deciding if this program is best for you, you have to look inward and focus on what is best for you. Is this program (or any program) going to be something you enjoy, can maintain, and not build more unhealthy habits, behaviors and add to the struggles you might already be having. So, yes, this program is working for me, and I am losing weight, and I feel good.
I have seen the most growth within myself around this topic of food. I feel like I am enjoying food again and I feel like I am eating more foods that I love and enjoy. I am finding myself looking forward to my meals and snacks again. This feels amazing. Like I mentioned above, there is no such thing as “good foods” or “bad foods.” I feel so much freedom from food and feel like I am in control l of what am eating again. The urge to binge is not nearly as bad as it was months ago. I think what is helping with this is taking away the thoughts of “I can’t eat that”, or “I have to eat all of that because I don’t know when I will allow myself to have it again.” By allowing myself to eat the foods I want, it is helping to take away that constant battle I was in with myself surrounding foods that I can and can’t have. I am focusing on my relationship with food and I can see great progress in this area. I still struggle with my eating disorder and my negative thoughts and do have moments where I struggle to swallow food or feel myself turning to food and wanting to binge especially if I am stressed. But, overall, I am making progress and that is what I am focusing on. Talking to an eating disorder therapist is also helping me so much to overcome these struggles.
I feel in control
I love that I can not only enjoy food again, but I feel like I am in control again. For so long it felt like I was spiraling out of control. I couldn’t stop eating, couldn’t stop obsessing over the scale, was so focused on weight loss and every thought of every day was about food. I was so focused on what I was eating, what I wanted to eat, what I couldn’t eat, and when I would eat again. It seemed as if my life was controlled by food and it was hard. But now, over these last few months, I find myself thinking about food less, I am not worried about when my next meal will come and if I am craving something, I have it. Again, I am still a work in progress and have my moments, but I am proud of all the progress I am making.
These are some of the biggest changes I have noticed since joining WW. But as I said, there are still some challenges I am facing and working on.
I can become a little obsessed with this and I make sure I fit everything perfectly in and I do not EVER go over my points. I am trying to listen to my hunger cues, eat when I am hungry, and focus on making sure I am eating enough foods that actually fill me up. This area of having to be “perfect” is something I am working on.
Using extra weekly points
From day one of WW, I knew this might be hard for me…and it is. As much progress as I am making, I still struggle with this constant thought of “I just want to lose weight.” Sometimes that thought is SO loud, it can take over. Some days I am fine using extra points and other times, I will completely avoid them altogether. I think when I choose not to use them it’s because I so badly want to lose weight and in the back of my mind, I tell myself that if I eat more, I won’t lose weight.
(Quick explanation- You get a certain amount of daily points on WW, then you have what are called “weekly” points. They are points you can use throughout the week if and when you want and choose to. You can use them all in one day, or throughout the week, or not at all. They are amazing because it never feels like you can’t eat anymore, that certain foods are off-limits, and these weekly points allow you to listen to your body and eat more if you need to).
So this thought of, I can’t use them is something I am still working on shaking out of my head. If I need them/want them/ I am still hungry… I need to learn to use them and remind myself there is so much more to life than constantly worrying about weight loss. This one is especially hard when it has been so ingrained in me to think you have to eat less to lose weight. I am still constantly working on getting rid of the thought of, once you “ate everything on your plan”, you don’t get anything else. It is about unlearning so many “rules” I had placed on myself for so long. I know it will take time.
Weekly Weigh Ins
This darn scale. I feel like some weeks I feel great, other weeks….the scale is my worst enemy! I find that weekly weigh-ins are going well, but I might need to try something else since the scale does seem to really affect me, my mood, and my food choices at times. It doesn’t matter if I lost, gained, or stayed the same, some weigh-ins are just hard for me. I face thoughts like “I didn’t lose enough”, “It’s not going fast enough”, or “What am I doing “wrong?” No matter what the scale says, it is hard to shake these thoughts from time to time. My relationship with the scale is still something I am working on and finding ways to overcome the fear of the number and find what works for me.
OK! There we have it, my 3ish month update on WW. Overall, I LOVE the program….so much. I feel like this program has truly has changed my life. From my relationship with food, to how I am viewing weight loss, to actually enjoying food again. I think my eating disorder makes things harder, but all I can do is keep trying my best. All I can keep doing is taking this one day at a time. I will continue to write in my journal daily, and I will continue to talk with my therapist. I would say, I am so proud of myself and where I am today and for the progress, I have made over the last 3 months.
If you are on WW, are interested in the program, or have any questions, please let me know.
As always, keep trying your best, making the choices and decisions that are best for you, and never EVER give up!