This week has gone by so so sooooo slowly. Usually the days or weeks leading up to surgery seem to fly by, but this week drug on! I started off the week so ready to crush this week, and get everything prepared for surgery. But then it happened…I had a hard time going to sleep. My mind would not stop. I kept thinking of everything I needed to get done. The laundry, the dishes, grocery shopping, getting all couch and recliner ready and covered up with special pads so they were all ready…the list went on and on. I literally got no sleep this week. I really hate that I cannot just shut my brain off sometimes. I did a lot of praying and positive self talk. I told myself over and over again that everything was going to be ok. I really think the days before surgery are so much worse than after surgery. I just feel like everything needs to be “perfect” and that I have to have everything ready and all prepared and I get myself more anxious and nervous than I need to be. I did a lot of deep breathing too. If you can’t tell patience is not my virtue…waiting is not a talent of mine. I am just so ready for it to be Monday.
This week was a pretty good week overall. I had my last workout class before surgery and that was a little sad. I felt like I was fighting off the tears as class was ending and when I was hugging all of my friends and trainers I was really getting a knot in the pit of my stomach. You grow to have such a bond and relationship with people, especially people who I am so vulnerable with and get to see first hadn’t how challenging this excess skin is on me. Who cheer me on and support me every step of the way. The gym is a huge part of my life, a huge part of my everyday routine and I just feel a little sad leaving it behind for a while….I feel like I am already ready to go back haha But like I always say, sometimes we have to take a step back in order to keep moving forward and what lies ahead is so worth this little break, this little pause that I have to go trough. I also got to try my first boxing class…and I was super …confused haha but I love it. It was a great way to get some anger and aggression out, which I desperately needed to do. I am still trying not to be angry with myself, and hitting the puching bag definitely helped!
I also took a workout class at Athleta which was taught by one of my Basecamp instructors and fav people ever, Helene. I love Athelta and the workout was super fun…and sweaty. But being surrounded by workout clothes the whole time definitely helped and while I was holding a squat I was definitely shopping around!!!
I also got my lab work done and did not get a sticker..he told me no and laughed…rude! However I did get something better after he thought I was going to cry when he told me no! I swear some doctors sometimes haha ( I will share my non sticker treat soon)
On Friday I got to hang out with some friends and celebrate my friends babies 2nd birthday. I was surrounded by a lot of my favorite people and it was seriously the best way to end this long week!
After the little party I met with my Grammy and had dinner and some much needed laughs and hugs. Grammys just have a way of making you feel better and calm you down!
The rest of the weekend I am just going to rest, and prepare for Monday. I am going to see a few more of my favs for some extra love and hugs and than I will be all ready to go! I love going into surgery feeling all of the love and support of everyone around me, including you guys. I definitely helps to have positive energy and vibes going into something so big and scary and helps keep me calm.
I wish I could sit here and tell you that I was not nervous or scared, but the truth is that I am. I am super emotional and super scared. But I am choosing not to let fear control me or take over. Instead I am surrounding myself with my favorite people and lots and lots and lots of love! I am choosing to make the best of the situation and I now that no matter how scary or how nervous I am that I am making the best decision for myself. Sometimes when we get scared, we just have to close our eyes, take a deep breath and know that everything is going to be ok. Smile, get lots of hugs and keep moving forward. 2 days away…I know I got this!!!
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