Eating disorder diagnosis
I have talked about this a lot but for those of you who don’t know, I have been diagnosed with a binge eating disorder.
I struggle with emotional eating, eating to cope with emotions, and really struggle with this all-or-nothing mentality. On my YouTube, there is a video talking all about this all-or-nothing mentality if you want to watch you can watch HERE. I also have a few YouTube videos in a playlist specifically about my Binge Eating Disorder that you can watch HERE.
I have been seeing an eating disorder therapist and she has really been helping me with overcoming this eating disorder and having a healthier relationship with food and with my body.
I have been on some sort of diet since I was a young child and have these “rules” about food engrained in me so deep that it’s hard to overcome them. But I am working on them. This takes a lot of time, patience, and work to overcome this way of thinking and eating.
Binge eating disorder
Binge eating disorder has such a stigma around it, especially when you reside in a larger body. People, even doctors, can call you lazy, just fat, not disciplined, and use this as an excuse to stay fat. When in reality the size of your body does not determine if you have an eating disorder or not. And the worst thing we can do is try to shame someone, make fun of someone or tell someone that they are just lazy and making excuses. So if anyone has ever done this or said these things to you I am truly sorry. I relate to it too and the best thing we can do is just continue to focus on ourselves and do what we know is best for us. Regardless of what others say.
Where do I have my therapy?
I have been trying my best to recover from my binge eating disorder and to heal my relationship with food. I see my therapist who is part of my insurance network. The way it works is I have to have a certain amount of appointments with her first, get a diagnosis, have more appointments and then if I qualify for more intense treatment then I can be a part of this eating disorder clinic. The hard part is that I can only see my therapist every 4-6 weeks so it’s not a lot.
But after having several appointments with her, she determined that I qualified for a more intense treatment and July 5th 2022 was my first day in this clinic.
Eating disorder clinic
This clinic is something that I am so excited about and relieved to get some extra help. I have been making a lot of progress already but having this more intense help I think is going to really make a huge difference.
I meet with a doctor, a nutritionist, and my therapist, and as a team, we come up with what is best for me personally. This team works together to assess my situation and circumstances and helps to create a plan to help me overcome what I am going through.
How did it go?
The conclusion- they do not want me to “diet” right now- so no tracking points, calories, etc. They want me to focus on eating more whole foods and less processed foods. The team wants me to focus on eating all of the food groups- carbs, protein, fats, fruit, dairy, and veggies. I am supposed to focus on whole wheat, high fiber, high protein meals. I am focusing on fueling my body with nutrient-dense foods and what makes me feel good. They do not want me to cut out or eliminate any foods and said it’s ok to enjoy all different types of foods.
The overall process right now is just fueling my body with foods that will nourish me and give me the energy to get ready for surgery and be able to heal after I have surgery. More on this soon but here is a blog about what is going on with me medically and the surgery I will need.
We also worked on ways to talk to family and friends about food, and tips for my surgery recovery so I am not laying in bed and just turning to food while I recover. They helped me with tips to help and really manage my stress and anxiety – which is a huge trigger for me to turn to food.
So overall this appointment was just my first meeting with the team and getting to know me, my body, and what is going to help me the most in moving forward.
I will keep sharing this journey.
As this journey goes on, I will continue to share this process, tips, suggestions, and what I am learning as I go.
I have said this before and I will say this again- I am not comfortable in my body or at my size right now. But with being diagnosed with lipedema and struggling with weight gain – I think the best thing for my body is to focus on eating nutrient-dense foods that feel good and allowing my body to keep getting strong and ready for surgery. I take full accountability for any weight gain, however with how severe the lipedema is it’s hard to say just how much I gained from that and how much is just weight gain. So I’m taking my team’s advice and the advice of my surgeon and just trying to take care of myself from the inside out right now.
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